The Best Birthday Cake
I met David a few months before he turned thirty. That’s right, he was in his twenties. This was the eleventh time David and I celebrated his birthday together.
The first year I met David I wanted to throw him a big birthday surprise. He was turning 30 after all! I didn’t realize at the time that David didn’t like big celebrations and attention on his birthday. We had just met, and I was determined to plan something that showed him how much I loved him. I flew his brother in from Toronto, and his best friend from San Francisco. I then gathered the rest of his LA friends for a surprise birthday party at a local music venue that was David’s favorite at the time to see one of his favorite musicians. I thought having all of his favorite things in one place would make for a favorite night, but what I didn’t realize was the following:
1. David doesn’t like surprises
2. The group of people I assembled were all amazing individuals that didn’t make for the best cohesive group.
3. The musician that was supposed to play was sick and was filled in for by some suicidal uber depressing alternative that sang so quietly that any background chatter chatter was forbidden.
4. I could keep listing, but I think you get the point.
In all of the years following I have done a much more successful job of celebrating David. We do something quiet- travel, go out for a meal, spend time as a family. I try to make him a meal he likes, and a special desert. We keep it low key.
When I saw this recipe for chocolate cake, I thought it would be something David would like. Since my transition to becoming Vegan there have been a lot of things that I used to make for David that I no longer cook. I know many of these things he misses. He has been amazingly understanding in not asking me to make them, and only on occasion, subtly hinting that he misses them. I have in turn done my best to create alternatives to those recipes and bring a whole lot of new ideas to the table. It has been a transition for both of us, and one that I think we continue to adjust to.
I didn’t want his birthday cake to feel like a compromise, but I wanted us all to be able to eat it together and a family. As it turns out you would never know this cake is vegan. They yellow cake (colored with turmeric) is moist and delicious. The chocolate icing is creamy and rich. Isaac even helped me make a flag for the top!
This was an important birthday. David and I spent the day together at a nearby hotel just enjoying each others company. With the craziness of both of our schedules we have been like ships in the night, and the reconnecting felt good. This birthday marked not only another year and another decade, but also the culmination of a HUGE PROJECT David has been working on. It feels fitting that he is entering the next decade of his life on the cusp of its release.
When we got home from our day at the hotel the kids were dressed and ready to go for dinner. Isaac had dressed himself in a button down shirt and tie. Coco in a ‘fancy’ dress and sparkly shoes. It was clearly an important occasion to them too, meaningful and special to celebrate the main man in their (our) lives.